I (Joel) apologize this may be long. There are too many moments that I do not want to forget.Our day started out earlier than normal – 8:30am. Ato Teklu was picking us up WITH the children to go visit an Orthodox church before our trip to a lake quite some distance from the city. He arrived and our hearts jumped for joy at the sight of our son’s little head peaking out the window of the van, his big eyes and smile warming our hearts as he saw us.
We hop in the van, and head for the church. Eli sits to my left and Erin on my right (she doesn’t do well with “riding” in cars,let alone driving in Ethiopia). I slide Eli up on my knee. There is this invisible string that you can feel when holding a child. I feel an ever so slight of a tug away from me. He is happy to be sitting with me as he reassures me with his electric smile… but still not quite comfortable.We arrive at the church. Eli and his BFF stay inthe van with the driver. The driver (whose name I cannot spell), is also amazing with children, and all is good. Eli looks unsure as we leave. As we walk closer to the gates of the church we quickly feel out of place. Hundreds of men and women dressed in flowing, traditional white robes are here to worship. We don’t know what to expect. Maybe just stand outside the gates. That would be good. Ato Teklu motions usto follow as we enter the gates. All the worshipers seem to have a“place” in the massive courtyard. Some are stopped outside the gates, some inside the gates, some near the steps – it feels like they darenot go any further than where each of them are. We are QUICKLY met by two guards carrying sticks. Cameras must be put away. I doubt we will go much further. Ato Teklu (like we’ve witnessed many times before),with his hands behind his back, quietly speaks to the guards. We have no idea what he is saying, but the guards stern looks are replaced by cautious smiles – moods completely changed – and we are motioned farther. We enter the grounds and walk up the steps to the courtyard ofthis ornate church. A beautiful prayer rings over the loudspeakers.People are chanting, kissing the wall – a wonderful moment of worship we have not ever experienced. We take it all in. We dare not go anyfurther. Ato Teklu motions us to follow (my dad would really like this man). The stares of the locals grow more intense. A nervous feeling takes over my stomach. Out of respect, fear…? We walk along the walls of the church now. Ato Teklu is stopped by another stearn guard, whohas been following us. Erin is feeling very nervous. A few words and we are allowed to pass. This must be as far as we go… nope. Ato Teklu, not looking back enters the church. We follow feeling like we are breaking almost every rule imaginable, but curiosity overtakes us. We remove our shoes and walk inside the church and the smell of burning oil and incense wafts our senses. Young boys giving communion. Priests andclergy (?) in ornate robes chant in the front. We duck into the back pew (true Lutherans). Erin notices that we are on the men’s side of thechurch…another uncomfortable reminder that we are foreigners and out of our routine. As we listen to the prayer, I myself pray to my God.Thanking him for Eli, for my family and friends. Bringing us here. The moment is too much and tears steam down my face. Amazing. Words do this experience no justice.
We return to the van to a relieved Eli.We start along our journey to the lake again. Same places in the back of the van. We both notice that he has a blank look on his face. Eyes not quite there. Fingers in his mouth. He is scared. Erin who always knows what to do, produces a lollipop. His eyes light up again and thesmile returns. I feel his taught string give just a little more. We’ve spoken to people about how adopted children sometimes smell different. And that it sometimes takes some adjusting too. As I rest my chin onthe soft curls of Eli’s head, I take a deep breath in. The sweet smell of his hair is wonderful. I kiss the top of his head and am greeted with a sheepish smile. I smile back. After an hour or so of driving past an amazing Ethiopian countryside, we arrive at our firststop - a quaint little resort – for tea and, yes, more coffee. Eli is ordered a mango juice, which arrives in a very tall glass with a straw. We work with him to teach him to blow the paper off the straw (a favorite game of our kids). He succeeds with a huge smile. Sitting now happily on Erin’s lap, we put the straw in the drink and he of course…blows bubbles! Our brilliant teaching of how to blow a straw backfiresas mango juice bubbles over the top of the glass! We all laugh. But it takes quite a while (and help from our driver) to explain, “suck.”
Talking to Ato Teklu, we find out he has lived in France and Germany as anambassador, as well as has served on the Supreme Court in Ethiopia. Now his talking himself out of situations makes more sense. We are honored to be with him. We walk the grounds. I push Eli high in the air, andreceive squeals of joy, which of course I can’t resist inducing more ofthat laugh and tickle his belly with my chin, the giggles are infectious. We hop in the van again towards our next stop. Thelake. Eli excited and nervous looks around. As we hop out, he grabs Erin’s hand. A profound moment for me (and Erin!). We walk along the cool lake and see many species of birds. Eli of course wants the camera. We find out this is just another stop. We hop back in the van and head towards our final stop. All a bit hungry now, Erin pulls somegorp from the bag (thanks Grandma Markquart). Eli’s small fingers go through the bag. Peanut good. First time eating a raisin… good. M&M– not so much. It is so much fun to see him process and learn new things.
Half an hour later we arrive at our destination. As wewalk down the steps of this restaurant, an amazing lake slowly engulfsour view. It almost looks like a crater. I motion that I want to sit asclose as we can. We are shown to a table on the patio against therailing over-looking the bluff. Eli moves about exploring, taking photos. At lunch he looks to Erin and says “waah.” Water! Erin motionsto the bottle and he shakes his head yes. Do you want it in a cup? Head nods yes. Our first communication! Who ever would have thought such simple thing would be so wonderful? We watch Eli eat injera ands ourdough-type bread. Dipping in hot sauce, smiling as he sits on my lap (HIS choice over a nearby chair). It is so much fun to watch him eat. His little fingers moving about in such a graceful manner. I get up to pay andhead up the stairs. He panics a little and wants to come with ME! Of course I oblige both our hearts leaping for joy as we walk hand in hand up the stairs. I swoop him up at the top, with giggles of delight. his handwraps around my neck. Hand grasping on my neck for balance. There is nomore string. My heart wells in the moment.Back in the van, he sits on my lap again. Constantly looking up at Erin and me for approval, each time followed by a smile. His little body grows tired and he slowly sinks into me. Is there anything more wonderful than a child falling asleep, comfortable, trusting, in your arms? I'm not surehow many more of these moments my heart can take. Erin and I chat all the way home. So blessed. What a day.
As we near Addis, I think to myself - my dad would be so proud. This is a Markquart travel day. We have packed as much in as we can! I glance at my watch. 2:30. Ha! Little did I know we had much more in store for us.We arrived back at our hotel. Eli sleepily woke up. The moment we dreaded.Saying goodbye until tomorrow. Who knows how he would react. As we got out of the van, Ato Teklo out of the blue asked, "You take him now?" Excuse me? What? "You take Habib now?" YES, of course! Unprepared, we scooped up a relieved Eli and headed inside. Ato Teklu following.Eli smiled all the way up to our room. Taking everything in. We brought him into our room and produced a plastic laptop with more buttons and noises than the camera. More smiles. This is going well. Ato Teklu came up to our room and we finished out our paperwork for tomorrow's visit to theembassy. Then it was time for Ato Teklu to go. The mood quickly changed. Eli was ready to go. He headed towards the door. Holding Ato Teklu's hand,we watched as Eli's shoulders slumped and head bowed. We could hear, for the first time, his cry. A sad little whimper. Big breaths and sniffles.Ato Teklu reassured him. Nodding and breathing hard, Eli did his best tobe strong. I remember looking at Erin, tearing up and thought - now is MYturn to be strong. I picked him up in my arms, rocking and whispering"Daddy's got you, everything is going to be OK" over and over. Not 100% sure myself. Quickly we jumped into parent mode. Lets get out distractions! His suitcase filled with new clothes, shoes, games. after a few minutes we got that smile back. Apparently smiles mean the same in English as in Amharic.
We hop in the van, and head for the church. Eli sits to my left and Erin on my right (she doesn’t do well with “riding” in cars,let alone driving in Ethiopia). I slide Eli up on my knee. There is this invisible string that you can feel when holding a child. I feel an ever so slight of a tug away from me. He is happy to be sitting with me as he reassures me with his electric smile… but still not quite comfortable.We arrive at the church. Eli and his BFF stay inthe van with the driver. The driver (whose name I cannot spell), is also amazing with children, and all is good. Eli looks unsure as we leave. As we walk closer to the gates of the church we quickly feel out of place. Hundreds of men and women dressed in flowing, traditional white robes are here to worship. We don’t know what to expect. Maybe just stand outside the gates. That would be good. Ato Teklu motions usto follow as we enter the gates. All the worshipers seem to have a“place” in the massive courtyard. Some are stopped outside the gates, some inside the gates, some near the steps – it feels like they darenot go any further than where each of them are. We are QUICKLY met by two guards carrying sticks. Cameras must be put away. I doubt we will go much further. Ato Teklu (like we’ve witnessed many times before),with his hands behind his back, quietly speaks to the guards. We have no idea what he is saying, but the guards stern looks are replaced by cautious smiles – moods completely changed – and we are motioned farther. We enter the grounds and walk up the steps to the courtyard ofthis ornate church. A beautiful prayer rings over the loudspeakers.People are chanting, kissing the wall – a wonderful moment of worship we have not ever experienced. We take it all in. We dare not go anyfurther. Ato Teklu motions us to follow (my dad would really like this man). The stares of the locals grow more intense. A nervous feeling takes over my stomach. Out of respect, fear…? We walk along the walls of the church now. Ato Teklu is stopped by another stearn guard, whohas been following us. Erin is feeling very nervous. A few words and we are allowed to pass. This must be as far as we go… nope. Ato Teklu, not looking back enters the church. We follow feeling like we are breaking almost every rule imaginable, but curiosity overtakes us. We remove our shoes and walk inside the church and the smell of burning oil and incense wafts our senses. Young boys giving communion. Priests andclergy (?) in ornate robes chant in the front. We duck into the back pew (true Lutherans). Erin notices that we are on the men’s side of thechurch…another uncomfortable reminder that we are foreigners and out of our routine. As we listen to the prayer, I myself pray to my God.Thanking him for Eli, for my family and friends. Bringing us here. The moment is too much and tears steam down my face. Amazing. Words do this experience no justice.
We return to the van to a relieved Eli.We start along our journey to the lake again. Same places in the back of the van. We both notice that he has a blank look on his face. Eyes not quite there. Fingers in his mouth. He is scared. Erin who always knows what to do, produces a lollipop. His eyes light up again and thesmile returns. I feel his taught string give just a little more. We’ve spoken to people about how adopted children sometimes smell different. And that it sometimes takes some adjusting too. As I rest my chin onthe soft curls of Eli’s head, I take a deep breath in. The sweet smell of his hair is wonderful. I kiss the top of his head and am greeted with a sheepish smile. I smile back. After an hour or so of driving past an amazing Ethiopian countryside, we arrive at our firststop - a quaint little resort – for tea and, yes, more coffee. Eli is ordered a mango juice, which arrives in a very tall glass with a straw. We work with him to teach him to blow the paper off the straw (a favorite game of our kids). He succeeds with a huge smile. Sitting now happily on Erin’s lap, we put the straw in the drink and he of course…blows bubbles! Our brilliant teaching of how to blow a straw backfiresas mango juice bubbles over the top of the glass! We all laugh. But it takes quite a while (and help from our driver) to explain, “suck.”
Talking to Ato Teklu, we find out he has lived in France and Germany as anambassador, as well as has served on the Supreme Court in Ethiopia. Now his talking himself out of situations makes more sense. We are honored to be with him. We walk the grounds. I push Eli high in the air, andreceive squeals of joy, which of course I can’t resist inducing more ofthat laugh and tickle his belly with my chin, the giggles are infectious. We hop in the van again towards our next stop. Thelake. Eli excited and nervous looks around. As we hop out, he grabs Erin’s hand. A profound moment for me (and Erin!). We walk along the cool lake and see many species of birds. Eli of course wants the camera. We find out this is just another stop. We hop back in the van and head towards our final stop. All a bit hungry now, Erin pulls somegorp from the bag (thanks Grandma Markquart). Eli’s small fingers go through the bag. Peanut good. First time eating a raisin… good. M&M– not so much. It is so much fun to see him process and learn new things.
Half an hour later we arrive at our destination. As wewalk down the steps of this restaurant, an amazing lake slowly engulfsour view. It almost looks like a crater. I motion that I want to sit asclose as we can. We are shown to a table on the patio against therailing over-looking the bluff. Eli moves about exploring, taking photos. At lunch he looks to Erin and says “waah.” Water! Erin motionsto the bottle and he shakes his head yes. Do you want it in a cup? Head nods yes. Our first communication! Who ever would have thought such simple thing would be so wonderful? We watch Eli eat injera ands ourdough-type bread. Dipping in hot sauce, smiling as he sits on my lap (HIS choice over a nearby chair). It is so much fun to watch him eat. His little fingers moving about in such a graceful manner. I get up to pay andhead up the stairs. He panics a little and wants to come with ME! Of course I oblige both our hearts leaping for joy as we walk hand in hand up the stairs. I swoop him up at the top, with giggles of delight. his handwraps around my neck. Hand grasping on my neck for balance. There is nomore string. My heart wells in the moment.Back in the van, he sits on my lap again. Constantly looking up at Erin and me for approval, each time followed by a smile. His little body grows tired and he slowly sinks into me. Is there anything more wonderful than a child falling asleep, comfortable, trusting, in your arms? I'm not surehow many more of these moments my heart can take. Erin and I chat all the way home. So blessed. What a day.
As we near Addis, I think to myself - my dad would be so proud. This is a Markquart travel day. We have packed as much in as we can! I glance at my watch. 2:30. Ha! Little did I know we had much more in store for us.We arrived back at our hotel. Eli sleepily woke up. The moment we dreaded.Saying goodbye until tomorrow. Who knows how he would react. As we got out of the van, Ato Teklo out of the blue asked, "You take him now?" Excuse me? What? "You take Habib now?" YES, of course! Unprepared, we scooped up a relieved Eli and headed inside. Ato Teklu following.Eli smiled all the way up to our room. Taking everything in. We brought him into our room and produced a plastic laptop with more buttons and noises than the camera. More smiles. This is going well. Ato Teklu came up to our room and we finished out our paperwork for tomorrow's visit to theembassy. Then it was time for Ato Teklu to go. The mood quickly changed. Eli was ready to go. He headed towards the door. Holding Ato Teklu's hand,we watched as Eli's shoulders slumped and head bowed. We could hear, for the first time, his cry. A sad little whimper. Big breaths and sniffles.Ato Teklu reassured him. Nodding and breathing hard, Eli did his best tobe strong. I remember looking at Erin, tearing up and thought - now is MYturn to be strong. I picked him up in my arms, rocking and whispering"Daddy's got you, everything is going to be OK" over and over. Not 100% sure myself. Quickly we jumped into parent mode. Lets get out distractions! His suitcase filled with new clothes, shoes, games. after a few minutes we got that smile back. Apparently smiles mean the same in English as in Amharic.
New Toys.
ahhhh... dad and a sucker.
Amazing scenery.
Eli and mom.
Now that is a cute kid!
Good day.
Becoming a family.
Smiles.
Learning to use the straw.
Walking with mom.
Thanks so much for updating the blog all of the time, even when you are so busy ! I love reading what's going on, I feel like I'm right there, you're such a good writer Joel :)
ReplyDeleteI also feel like I'm right there. I get teary everytime I read.. Not from sadness but the excitement and love I feel this little boy is getting :) its soo amazing!!
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing and I'm not even the one who's really going thru all this. You are both really good writers. Isn't it amazing how much God can make our hearts grow.
ReplyDeletecant wait to meet him
k