Every good brother should know about Star Wars!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Wednesday
Another great day in Addis…It’s hard to believe that we are leaving tomorrow (it’s also hard to imagine being on a plane for two days with a three year old!). My feelings are divided. On the one hand, I cannot wait to get home and see our kids! I miss them so much. On the other hand, I know that we are not coming back to Ethiopia in the near future, so leaving is a bit sad. We have really enjoyed our time here in this foreign land. We have come to love the culture and especially it’s people. The people here in Ethiopia are truly wonderful.
For example, we were invited to a buffet lunch this afternoon by the owner of our hotel. We met her yesterday and learned that she will be in Seattle in two weeks. We arrived at noon and could immediately smell the delicious meal she had prepared for us: Injera, rolls, chicken wings, fish, salads, dora wat, three different kinds of sauces, Ethiopian wine and more. We felt like royalty. As we sat down to eat, we were joined by our coordinator from WACAP, as well as the hotel owner’s sister and brother. We learned that her sister owns an Ethiopian restaurant in Baltimore (close to Joel’s DC office) and her brother owns Dreamland, the wonderful resort we ate at on Sunday overlooking the lake! We were in fun company and enjoyed learning more about their histories and lives here in Ethiopia, as well as the US. As we chatted, Eli and his BFF ate their lunches (those kids can EAT!) and then chased each other around the room blowing up a balloon and then letting go, screaming as zig-zagged through the air. I am not exactly sure what the staff thinks of our parenting (is such behavior acceptable?) but our children are met with nothing but smiles and affectionate nods. You can tell that children and loved and valued here.
After lunch Joel went with the WACAP staff to purchase lockers for the children at the House. Right now they have no where to put their clothes, shoes and such, so this will provide each of them a “place” to keep their clothes. He will have to tell you more about this experience, but I understand that the gift of the lockers was very much appreciated. The lockers were purchased with the donations that came in from the children and families at Grace Lutheran, as well as from the grant Joel received from his work (Merkle). I wish everyone who contributed money and donations (formula, games, medical supplies, clothes, toothbrushes, etc) could be here to see the children they are helping. I know sometimes the phrase “make a difference in a child’s life” can be overused and somewhat mind-numbing, but we got to see firsthand how your generosity and thoughtfulness affected 28 children and improved their daily living. Not to mention the hundreds of more children that will follow in the coming months and years.
After Joel returned, we all went to the market again and to an art gallery. We went back to the same local market we visited earlier and they remembered us! ☺ We much prefer going to the local market, rather than the mall. Even though it is much more crowded and full of eager sellers, we like the atmosphere and the people in the shops. We didn’t buy a lot, but purchased a few things to take home to remember our trip. It is important to us that we have a few items especially for Eli from his birth country.
The art gallery that we visited was quite beautiful. Much fancier than the tin container up on En Toto mountain. I am really kicking myself that we didn’t purchase a painting the other day on the mountain. We tried to find another painting like the ones we saw, but with no luck. Luckily we were able to contact the artist we like so much and he is bringing some paintings to the hotel tomorrow for us to see. Hopefully we like what he brings! I’d love to have at least one painting from here at home to look at and to help me remember this experience (not that I’m going forget this!).
I wish that I could get everything that my eyes witnessed during this trip down into this blog. It has been an amazing experience. As we look forward to our last night sleeping on box springs and listening to the endless car traffic outside of our window, we have mixed emotions. The week has gone by quickly. We have experienced so much, but mainly the week as been about meeting and getting to know our son. I feel like we have transitioned well this week. Eli is a trooper. He has an infectious laugh that we enjoy hearing throughout the day. Now that we have met and spent some time together, my mind goes to thoughts of being home and how that transition will go. We have shown Eli pictures of his brother and sisters, but I am sure he doesn’t understand that he will have to share our attention in a couple of days. We are noticing that he is definitely developmentally younger than three. Some of his behaviors remind me of a young toddler, such as arching his back when he is unhappy and throwing things. Some of this I am sure is due to a lack of language communication as well. However, tonight he was counting (in English) to five! Also, I was singing the ABCs and paused at “K” and he chimed in with “L, M, N, O, P!” Joel and I cracked up laughing with surprise, which sent Eli into a fit of giggles!
Another good, no great, day in Ethiopia!
For example, we were invited to a buffet lunch this afternoon by the owner of our hotel. We met her yesterday and learned that she will be in Seattle in two weeks. We arrived at noon and could immediately smell the delicious meal she had prepared for us: Injera, rolls, chicken wings, fish, salads, dora wat, three different kinds of sauces, Ethiopian wine and more. We felt like royalty. As we sat down to eat, we were joined by our coordinator from WACAP, as well as the hotel owner’s sister and brother. We learned that her sister owns an Ethiopian restaurant in Baltimore (close to Joel’s DC office) and her brother owns Dreamland, the wonderful resort we ate at on Sunday overlooking the lake! We were in fun company and enjoyed learning more about their histories and lives here in Ethiopia, as well as the US. As we chatted, Eli and his BFF ate their lunches (those kids can EAT!) and then chased each other around the room blowing up a balloon and then letting go, screaming as zig-zagged through the air. I am not exactly sure what the staff thinks of our parenting (is such behavior acceptable?) but our children are met with nothing but smiles and affectionate nods. You can tell that children and loved and valued here.
After lunch Joel went with the WACAP staff to purchase lockers for the children at the House. Right now they have no where to put their clothes, shoes and such, so this will provide each of them a “place” to keep their clothes. He will have to tell you more about this experience, but I understand that the gift of the lockers was very much appreciated. The lockers were purchased with the donations that came in from the children and families at Grace Lutheran, as well as from the grant Joel received from his work (Merkle). I wish everyone who contributed money and donations (formula, games, medical supplies, clothes, toothbrushes, etc) could be here to see the children they are helping. I know sometimes the phrase “make a difference in a child’s life” can be overused and somewhat mind-numbing, but we got to see firsthand how your generosity and thoughtfulness affected 28 children and improved their daily living. Not to mention the hundreds of more children that will follow in the coming months and years.
After Joel returned, we all went to the market again and to an art gallery. We went back to the same local market we visited earlier and they remembered us! ☺ We much prefer going to the local market, rather than the mall. Even though it is much more crowded and full of eager sellers, we like the atmosphere and the people in the shops. We didn’t buy a lot, but purchased a few things to take home to remember our trip. It is important to us that we have a few items especially for Eli from his birth country.
The art gallery that we visited was quite beautiful. Much fancier than the tin container up on En Toto mountain. I am really kicking myself that we didn’t purchase a painting the other day on the mountain. We tried to find another painting like the ones we saw, but with no luck. Luckily we were able to contact the artist we like so much and he is bringing some paintings to the hotel tomorrow for us to see. Hopefully we like what he brings! I’d love to have at least one painting from here at home to look at and to help me remember this experience (not that I’m going forget this!).
I wish that I could get everything that my eyes witnessed during this trip down into this blog. It has been an amazing experience. As we look forward to our last night sleeping on box springs and listening to the endless car traffic outside of our window, we have mixed emotions. The week has gone by quickly. We have experienced so much, but mainly the week as been about meeting and getting to know our son. I feel like we have transitioned well this week. Eli is a trooper. He has an infectious laugh that we enjoy hearing throughout the day. Now that we have met and spent some time together, my mind goes to thoughts of being home and how that transition will go. We have shown Eli pictures of his brother and sisters, but I am sure he doesn’t understand that he will have to share our attention in a couple of days. We are noticing that he is definitely developmentally younger than three. Some of his behaviors remind me of a young toddler, such as arching his back when he is unhappy and throwing things. Some of this I am sure is due to a lack of language communication as well. However, tonight he was counting (in English) to five! Also, I was singing the ABCs and paused at “K” and he chimed in with “L, M, N, O, P!” Joel and I cracked up laughing with surprise, which sent Eli into a fit of giggles!
Another good, no great, day in Ethiopia!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Tuesday
It has been another extremely full day in Ethiopia. It is almost 1 am and we're just getting to bed. The sounds of the bar across the street and the blaring of the car alarms will continue now for a few hours, the sounds drifting through our seemingly paper thin walls. We SO look forward to being home. At one point this morning, I joked with Erin about getting a Starbucks in one hand and a McDonalds cheeseburger in the other hand. I'm not sure if Eli did something moving or not, but when I turned to look at her, she had tears in her eyes.
We were able to sleep in a bit today with Eli getting up about 7:30. He now has down "MaMa" and is constantly seeking out Erin. Its amazing that she has been a mom for 7 years and still hearing "MaMa" for the first few times can be so very precious. Moving.
At breakfast we met the owner of the hotel, and older, stately woman dressed in red. She spoke to the children (as the entire staff at the hotel do now) in words we didn't understand - but the children did. It is fun to watch and guess what they are saying. She asked about our stay and after we found out she will be in SEATTLE in two weeks offered to buy us a lunch tomorrow. An Ethiopian buffet. We're not quite sure what to expect, but another fun experience - just because we spoke to someone!
We were picked up at the hotel and weaved our way through the city up to the ToTo Mountains (I really don't know the spelling). We wound our way through treacherous roads passing by women carrying sticks on their backs for cooking in their homes. It is illegal to cut down branches and trees, so these sticks must be found on the ground. The forests around the road are strangely picked over. We dodged the donkeys along the route as well. The hills surrounding the outlying areas of the city are breathtaking. A little like Eastern Washington farmlands. In the rainy season - the yellow dry grass will be replenished with green. I hope we can see this one day.
We arrived at the top and were greeted by an armed guard with a large gun. We payed our 5 bir and started on our little hike... guard in tow. We came to a lookout and could see all of Addis Ababa and beyond. Eucalyptus trees were all around us and gave off a beautiful fragrant smell in the crisp cool air of the forest. Very large strange birds rose from the trees with sounds I have never heard. I enjoyed talking with the guard and he let me pose with his gun (after he took out the bullets). After the hike, we went to an art gallery inside of a truck dumpster (?). We met the artist,who did amazing work. We regret not buying anything. We have his number and may call tomorrow. They can deliver to the city. Supposedly Beyonce and Oprah were at the top of this mountain not too long ago.
We worked our way down the curves of the mountain to go to the local market. Of course stopping at a coffee shop - their Starbucks if you will. As we left we were barraged by beggers. As we left, it was hard to see Eli watching them. He turns to me and says something in Ahmeric. I'm not sure what, but it felt like - "don't you see them? are you going to give them something to eat?" A profound moment. Eli looking at them from the other side of the glass. Who knows how close he was - or any of the 28 children I met a few days ago - to being standing there, tapping, tapping.
Our time at the market was cut short as we needed to get back for an appointment. Bartering still isn't for Erin or I. But we made the best of it and had fun shopping where the locals do.
A quick nap and we were back on the road. We were brought to a "mall" to shop some more. I think something was lost in the translation of what we were looking to do, as this was pretty much a "western" mall - prices and all. We bought one thing. Sunglasses for Eli. He was SO proud. Of course, much like our little Zoe, he plopped them on upside down on top of his head. I think he wants to be like his dad. :)
Back to the hotel for another quick nap and we were off to dinner with Ato Teklu and his wife. They brought us to an incredible restaurant - to hard to describe. Decorated from floor to ceiling in Ethiopian decor, this was definitely a special place to come. A four piece band with traditional instruments played a we arrived. Eli was fascinated. You could tell he really loved the drums. We sat in low carved chairs/stools around a basket that would normally hold all of our shared dinner. Eating together is definitely an event to socialize around. We were brought through a buffet loaded with Ethiopian food like you could not believe. I love the spicy food, but my body doesn't handle it well. I happily sat on my stool with sweat pouring from my head. At one point Erin even asked if I was OK. We found out the Ato Teklu's wife is a graphic designer and does ads for magazines and newspapers. Small world. We also sat next to a man from Nebraska (or somewhere like that). Very strange. In all the places to meet someone. During dinner, the band was joined by a lead singer and 6 VERY talented dancers. Photos don't do this place justice. Not sure video will as well - but I tried. The pulsating rhythms of the music made me want to jump to my feet and join them (luckily for Erin I held back). The dancers moved in a way that I have never before seen. A jerky up and down back and forth of the shoulders, neck and hips. They carried on for HOURS. It was almost painful to our own backs to watch them. Amazing food, amazing company, amazing music, amazing dance... an amazing night.The bar across the street just closed (I think). I swear they rivaled any Irish singing pub. These people can party.
Entertainment.
Dancing.
Nice Shades.
Coffee Shop.
Ethiopian terrain.
Havin' a good time.
Walking on the sticks.
Yep... still adorable.
Stop for a family photo.
Talk about a view. 
I look cool.
Binoculars are cool! P.S. A couple more things...
This is a life-changing experience we are on and I don't wish it away... but I miss my other three kids today so bad its almost too much. Nate's electric personality and fire in his eyes, Edie Raye's hugs and dramatic personality and little Zoe's Infectious laughter and heart-melting smile. We want to be home. ALL together.When Eli gets happy he smiles huge and sticks his tongue out just a bit between his teeth on the left side of his mouth. He's a little ham.The first night we had Eli with us. After we tucked him into his bed, I don't want to forget Erin saying (with tears in her eyes), "Can you believe it? THERE he is. Beautiful, little head peaking out of the covers... this is what we've been waiting for."
Monday, January 12, 2009
Eli's Top Ten
- Balloons (playing soccer with them)
- His Backpack (riding it around the hotel room)
- Brushing his teeth
- Washing his hands with (lots of!) soap
- Going to the window and showing the people below his new things
- Bread (He dips everything: soup, HOT sauce, juice, Coke, etc)
- Laughing
- Taking pictures with Dad’s camera
- Flushing the toilet
- Being carrying around by mom and dad!
Day #??? I lost count!
Day - ??? I lost count!Right now, I (Erin) am sitting on the couch in our suite, drinking an Ethiopian beer (Hey, when in Rome…) and smiling as I watch Joel and Eli play soccer with a balloon. What a soccer player Eli is! WOW, the kid has a leg! We have discovered that Dum Dum suckers and balloons are a MUST while traveling to adopt. Being somewhat “stuck” in our hotel room gets long with a three year old. Burning some energy while playing kick, punch, throw, head and slam the balloon goes a LONG way in passing the time!
We just returned from the US Embassy (an experience in itself) where we completed more paperwork and applied for Eli’s Visa to the US. All went well and we will pick up his Visa on Wednesday. The highlight of the Embassy trip (other than getting his court documents) was meeting a number of other families from the US with their adopted Ethiopian children! What a surprise! There were about 11 families and 10 of them are on our flight home! HAH! Those poor flight attendants!!!! What a relief to us, though. One family lives in Bothell and is on both of our flights. They adopted a five-year-old girl and have three biological children at home as well! Very cool. We exchanged names and emails and parted saying, “See you Thursday!” Should be a flight to remember!
We thought we were going to the market this morning, but that was a miscommunication. So, we spent some time playing in the room (we are not allowed to leave the hotel with the children). Eli, let’s just say, came out of his shell today. Whoa. He was a wild man! It could be that we are cooped up or that he is testing his boundaries (wouldn’t you with people who gave you a sucker every 5 minutes?) or a combination of both. He definitely has good energy and will fit in well at home. I think we’ll be signing him up for soccer as soon as possible! Luckily, he did nap for about an hour this afternoon!On the way home from the Embassy, our car was approached by people begging in the streets (as happens every time we leave the hotel). Eli was sitting near the window. He looked at the poor, old woman and then at Joel and then back at the woman. It was very sad. We wondered what he was thinking. As I sit hear listening to Eli SQUEAL with laughter and joy as Daddy hits the balloon to him, I am so happy that he is our son and that can enjoy a happy and healthy life full of love (and squeals of laughter).
We just returned from the US Embassy (an experience in itself) where we completed more paperwork and applied for Eli’s Visa to the US. All went well and we will pick up his Visa on Wednesday. The highlight of the Embassy trip (other than getting his court documents) was meeting a number of other families from the US with their adopted Ethiopian children! What a surprise! There were about 11 families and 10 of them are on our flight home! HAH! Those poor flight attendants!!!! What a relief to us, though. One family lives in Bothell and is on both of our flights. They adopted a five-year-old girl and have three biological children at home as well! Very cool. We exchanged names and emails and parted saying, “See you Thursday!” Should be a flight to remember!
We thought we were going to the market this morning, but that was a miscommunication. So, we spent some time playing in the room (we are not allowed to leave the hotel with the children). Eli, let’s just say, came out of his shell today. Whoa. He was a wild man! It could be that we are cooped up or that he is testing his boundaries (wouldn’t you with people who gave you a sucker every 5 minutes?) or a combination of both. He definitely has good energy and will fit in well at home. I think we’ll be signing him up for soccer as soon as possible! Luckily, he did nap for about an hour this afternoon!On the way home from the Embassy, our car was approached by people begging in the streets (as happens every time we leave the hotel). Eli was sitting near the window. He looked at the poor, old woman and then at Joel and then back at the woman. It was very sad. We wondered what he was thinking. As I sit hear listening to Eli SQUEAL with laughter and joy as Daddy hits the balloon to him, I am so happy that he is our son and that can enjoy a happy and healthy life full of love (and squeals of laughter).
Day #6 - An unexpected Surprise!
I (Joel) apologize this may be long. There are too many moments that I do not want to forget.Our day started out earlier than normal – 8:30am. Ato Teklu was picking us up WITH the children to go visit an Orthodox church before our trip to a lake quite some distance from the city. He arrived and our hearts jumped for joy at the sight of our son’s little head peaking out the window of the van, his big eyes and smile warming our hearts as he saw us.
We hop in the van, and head for the church. Eli sits to my left and Erin on my right (she doesn’t do well with “riding” in cars,let alone driving in Ethiopia). I slide Eli up on my knee. There is this invisible string that you can feel when holding a child. I feel an ever so slight of a tug away from me. He is happy to be sitting with me as he reassures me with his electric smile… but still not quite comfortable.We arrive at the church. Eli and his BFF stay inthe van with the driver. The driver (whose name I cannot spell), is also amazing with children, and all is good. Eli looks unsure as we leave. As we walk closer to the gates of the church we quickly feel out of place. Hundreds of men and women dressed in flowing, traditional white robes are here to worship. We don’t know what to expect. Maybe just stand outside the gates. That would be good. Ato Teklu motions usto follow as we enter the gates. All the worshipers seem to have a“place” in the massive courtyard. Some are stopped outside the gates, some inside the gates, some near the steps – it feels like they darenot go any further than where each of them are. We are QUICKLY met by two guards carrying sticks. Cameras must be put away. I doubt we will go much further. Ato Teklu (like we’ve witnessed many times before),with his hands behind his back, quietly speaks to the guards. We have no idea what he is saying, but the guards stern looks are replaced by cautious smiles – moods completely changed – and we are motioned farther. We enter the grounds and walk up the steps to the courtyard ofthis ornate church. A beautiful prayer rings over the loudspeakers.People are chanting, kissing the wall – a wonderful moment of worship we have not ever experienced. We take it all in. We dare not go anyfurther. Ato Teklu motions us to follow (my dad would really like this man). The stares of the locals grow more intense. A nervous feeling takes over my stomach. Out of respect, fear…? We walk along the walls of the church now. Ato Teklu is stopped by another stearn guard, whohas been following us. Erin is feeling very nervous. A few words and we are allowed to pass. This must be as far as we go… nope. Ato Teklu, not looking back enters the church. We follow feeling like we are breaking almost every rule imaginable, but curiosity overtakes us. We remove our shoes and walk inside the church and the smell of burning oil and incense wafts our senses. Young boys giving communion. Priests andclergy (?) in ornate robes chant in the front. We duck into the back pew (true Lutherans). Erin notices that we are on the men’s side of thechurch…another uncomfortable reminder that we are foreigners and out of our routine. As we listen to the prayer, I myself pray to my God.Thanking him for Eli, for my family and friends. Bringing us here. The moment is too much and tears steam down my face. Amazing. Words do this experience no justice.
We return to the van to a relieved Eli.We start along our journey to the lake again. Same places in the back of the van. We both notice that he has a blank look on his face. Eyes not quite there. Fingers in his mouth. He is scared. Erin who always knows what to do, produces a lollipop. His eyes light up again and thesmile returns. I feel his taught string give just a little more. We’ve spoken to people about how adopted children sometimes smell different. And that it sometimes takes some adjusting too. As I rest my chin onthe soft curls of Eli’s head, I take a deep breath in. The sweet smell of his hair is wonderful. I kiss the top of his head and am greeted with a sheepish smile. I smile back. After an hour or so of driving past an amazing Ethiopian countryside, we arrive at our firststop - a quaint little resort – for tea and, yes, more coffee. Eli is ordered a mango juice, which arrives in a very tall glass with a straw. We work with him to teach him to blow the paper off the straw (a favorite game of our kids). He succeeds with a huge smile. Sitting now happily on Erin’s lap, we put the straw in the drink and he of course…blows bubbles! Our brilliant teaching of how to blow a straw backfiresas mango juice bubbles over the top of the glass! We all laugh. But it takes quite a while (and help from our driver) to explain, “suck.”
Talking to Ato Teklu, we find out he has lived in France and Germany as anambassador, as well as has served on the Supreme Court in Ethiopia. Now his talking himself out of situations makes more sense. We are honored to be with him. We walk the grounds. I push Eli high in the air, andreceive squeals of joy, which of course I can’t resist inducing more ofthat laugh and tickle his belly with my chin, the giggles are infectious. We hop in the van again towards our next stop. Thelake. Eli excited and nervous looks around. As we hop out, he grabs Erin’s hand. A profound moment for me (and Erin!). We walk along the cool lake and see many species of birds. Eli of course wants the camera. We find out this is just another stop. We hop back in the van and head towards our final stop. All a bit hungry now, Erin pulls somegorp from the bag (thanks Grandma Markquart). Eli’s small fingers go through the bag. Peanut good. First time eating a raisin… good. M&M– not so much. It is so much fun to see him process and learn new things.
Half an hour later we arrive at our destination. As wewalk down the steps of this restaurant, an amazing lake slowly engulfsour view. It almost looks like a crater. I motion that I want to sit asclose as we can. We are shown to a table on the patio against therailing over-looking the bluff. Eli moves about exploring, taking photos. At lunch he looks to Erin and says “waah.” Water! Erin motionsto the bottle and he shakes his head yes. Do you want it in a cup? Head nods yes. Our first communication! Who ever would have thought such simple thing would be so wonderful? We watch Eli eat injera ands ourdough-type bread. Dipping in hot sauce, smiling as he sits on my lap (HIS choice over a nearby chair). It is so much fun to watch him eat. His little fingers moving about in such a graceful manner. I get up to pay andhead up the stairs. He panics a little and wants to come with ME! Of course I oblige both our hearts leaping for joy as we walk hand in hand up the stairs. I swoop him up at the top, with giggles of delight. his handwraps around my neck. Hand grasping on my neck for balance. There is nomore string. My heart wells in the moment.Back in the van, he sits on my lap again. Constantly looking up at Erin and me for approval, each time followed by a smile. His little body grows tired and he slowly sinks into me. Is there anything more wonderful than a child falling asleep, comfortable, trusting, in your arms? I'm not surehow many more of these moments my heart can take. Erin and I chat all the way home. So blessed. What a day.
As we near Addis, I think to myself - my dad would be so proud. This is a Markquart travel day. We have packed as much in as we can! I glance at my watch. 2:30. Ha! Little did I know we had much more in store for us.We arrived back at our hotel. Eli sleepily woke up. The moment we dreaded.Saying goodbye until tomorrow. Who knows how he would react. As we got out of the van, Ato Teklo out of the blue asked, "You take him now?" Excuse me? What? "You take Habib now?" YES, of course! Unprepared, we scooped up a relieved Eli and headed inside. Ato Teklu following.Eli smiled all the way up to our room. Taking everything in. We brought him into our room and produced a plastic laptop with more buttons and noises than the camera. More smiles. This is going well. Ato Teklu came up to our room and we finished out our paperwork for tomorrow's visit to theembassy. Then it was time for Ato Teklu to go. The mood quickly changed. Eli was ready to go. He headed towards the door. Holding Ato Teklu's hand,we watched as Eli's shoulders slumped and head bowed. We could hear, for the first time, his cry. A sad little whimper. Big breaths and sniffles.Ato Teklu reassured him. Nodding and breathing hard, Eli did his best tobe strong. I remember looking at Erin, tearing up and thought - now is MYturn to be strong. I picked him up in my arms, rocking and whispering"Daddy's got you, everything is going to be OK" over and over. Not 100% sure myself. Quickly we jumped into parent mode. Lets get out distractions! His suitcase filled with new clothes, shoes, games. after a few minutes we got that smile back. Apparently smiles mean the same in English as in Amharic.
We hop in the van, and head for the church. Eli sits to my left and Erin on my right (she doesn’t do well with “riding” in cars,let alone driving in Ethiopia). I slide Eli up on my knee. There is this invisible string that you can feel when holding a child. I feel an ever so slight of a tug away from me. He is happy to be sitting with me as he reassures me with his electric smile… but still not quite comfortable.We arrive at the church. Eli and his BFF stay inthe van with the driver. The driver (whose name I cannot spell), is also amazing with children, and all is good. Eli looks unsure as we leave. As we walk closer to the gates of the church we quickly feel out of place. Hundreds of men and women dressed in flowing, traditional white robes are here to worship. We don’t know what to expect. Maybe just stand outside the gates. That would be good. Ato Teklu motions usto follow as we enter the gates. All the worshipers seem to have a“place” in the massive courtyard. Some are stopped outside the gates, some inside the gates, some near the steps – it feels like they darenot go any further than where each of them are. We are QUICKLY met by two guards carrying sticks. Cameras must be put away. I doubt we will go much further. Ato Teklu (like we’ve witnessed many times before),with his hands behind his back, quietly speaks to the guards. We have no idea what he is saying, but the guards stern looks are replaced by cautious smiles – moods completely changed – and we are motioned farther. We enter the grounds and walk up the steps to the courtyard ofthis ornate church. A beautiful prayer rings over the loudspeakers.People are chanting, kissing the wall – a wonderful moment of worship we have not ever experienced. We take it all in. We dare not go anyfurther. Ato Teklu motions us to follow (my dad would really like this man). The stares of the locals grow more intense. A nervous feeling takes over my stomach. Out of respect, fear…? We walk along the walls of the church now. Ato Teklu is stopped by another stearn guard, whohas been following us. Erin is feeling very nervous. A few words and we are allowed to pass. This must be as far as we go… nope. Ato Teklu, not looking back enters the church. We follow feeling like we are breaking almost every rule imaginable, but curiosity overtakes us. We remove our shoes and walk inside the church and the smell of burning oil and incense wafts our senses. Young boys giving communion. Priests andclergy (?) in ornate robes chant in the front. We duck into the back pew (true Lutherans). Erin notices that we are on the men’s side of thechurch…another uncomfortable reminder that we are foreigners and out of our routine. As we listen to the prayer, I myself pray to my God.Thanking him for Eli, for my family and friends. Bringing us here. The moment is too much and tears steam down my face. Amazing. Words do this experience no justice.
We return to the van to a relieved Eli.We start along our journey to the lake again. Same places in the back of the van. We both notice that he has a blank look on his face. Eyes not quite there. Fingers in his mouth. He is scared. Erin who always knows what to do, produces a lollipop. His eyes light up again and thesmile returns. I feel his taught string give just a little more. We’ve spoken to people about how adopted children sometimes smell different. And that it sometimes takes some adjusting too. As I rest my chin onthe soft curls of Eli’s head, I take a deep breath in. The sweet smell of his hair is wonderful. I kiss the top of his head and am greeted with a sheepish smile. I smile back. After an hour or so of driving past an amazing Ethiopian countryside, we arrive at our firststop - a quaint little resort – for tea and, yes, more coffee. Eli is ordered a mango juice, which arrives in a very tall glass with a straw. We work with him to teach him to blow the paper off the straw (a favorite game of our kids). He succeeds with a huge smile. Sitting now happily on Erin’s lap, we put the straw in the drink and he of course…blows bubbles! Our brilliant teaching of how to blow a straw backfiresas mango juice bubbles over the top of the glass! We all laugh. But it takes quite a while (and help from our driver) to explain, “suck.”
Talking to Ato Teklu, we find out he has lived in France and Germany as anambassador, as well as has served on the Supreme Court in Ethiopia. Now his talking himself out of situations makes more sense. We are honored to be with him. We walk the grounds. I push Eli high in the air, andreceive squeals of joy, which of course I can’t resist inducing more ofthat laugh and tickle his belly with my chin, the giggles are infectious. We hop in the van again towards our next stop. Thelake. Eli excited and nervous looks around. As we hop out, he grabs Erin’s hand. A profound moment for me (and Erin!). We walk along the cool lake and see many species of birds. Eli of course wants the camera. We find out this is just another stop. We hop back in the van and head towards our final stop. All a bit hungry now, Erin pulls somegorp from the bag (thanks Grandma Markquart). Eli’s small fingers go through the bag. Peanut good. First time eating a raisin… good. M&M– not so much. It is so much fun to see him process and learn new things.
Half an hour later we arrive at our destination. As wewalk down the steps of this restaurant, an amazing lake slowly engulfsour view. It almost looks like a crater. I motion that I want to sit asclose as we can. We are shown to a table on the patio against therailing over-looking the bluff. Eli moves about exploring, taking photos. At lunch he looks to Erin and says “waah.” Water! Erin motionsto the bottle and he shakes his head yes. Do you want it in a cup? Head nods yes. Our first communication! Who ever would have thought such simple thing would be so wonderful? We watch Eli eat injera ands ourdough-type bread. Dipping in hot sauce, smiling as he sits on my lap (HIS choice over a nearby chair). It is so much fun to watch him eat. His little fingers moving about in such a graceful manner. I get up to pay andhead up the stairs. He panics a little and wants to come with ME! Of course I oblige both our hearts leaping for joy as we walk hand in hand up the stairs. I swoop him up at the top, with giggles of delight. his handwraps around my neck. Hand grasping on my neck for balance. There is nomore string. My heart wells in the moment.Back in the van, he sits on my lap again. Constantly looking up at Erin and me for approval, each time followed by a smile. His little body grows tired and he slowly sinks into me. Is there anything more wonderful than a child falling asleep, comfortable, trusting, in your arms? I'm not surehow many more of these moments my heart can take. Erin and I chat all the way home. So blessed. What a day.
As we near Addis, I think to myself - my dad would be so proud. This is a Markquart travel day. We have packed as much in as we can! I glance at my watch. 2:30. Ha! Little did I know we had much more in store for us.We arrived back at our hotel. Eli sleepily woke up. The moment we dreaded.Saying goodbye until tomorrow. Who knows how he would react. As we got out of the van, Ato Teklo out of the blue asked, "You take him now?" Excuse me? What? "You take Habib now?" YES, of course! Unprepared, we scooped up a relieved Eli and headed inside. Ato Teklu following.Eli smiled all the way up to our room. Taking everything in. We brought him into our room and produced a plastic laptop with more buttons and noises than the camera. More smiles. This is going well. Ato Teklu came up to our room and we finished out our paperwork for tomorrow's visit to theembassy. Then it was time for Ato Teklu to go. The mood quickly changed. Eli was ready to go. He headed towards the door. Holding Ato Teklu's hand,we watched as Eli's shoulders slumped and head bowed. We could hear, for the first time, his cry. A sad little whimper. Big breaths and sniffles.Ato Teklu reassured him. Nodding and breathing hard, Eli did his best tobe strong. I remember looking at Erin, tearing up and thought - now is MYturn to be strong. I picked him up in my arms, rocking and whispering"Daddy's got you, everything is going to be OK" over and over. Not 100% sure myself. Quickly we jumped into parent mode. Lets get out distractions! His suitcase filled with new clothes, shoes, games. after a few minutes we got that smile back. Apparently smiles mean the same in English as in Amharic.
Fun in the hotel!
New Toys.
ahhhh... dad and a sucker.
Amazing scenery.
Eli and mom.
Now that is a cute kid!
Good day.
Becoming a family.
Smiles.
Learning to use the straw.
Walking with mom.Saturday, January 10, 2009
Eli's Photography Gallery
Eli LOVES the camera. He is constantly swiping it from me. He hasn't QUITE got the viewfinder down yet, but it makes the older kids laugh to see all the photos of their feet. Here is a sampling of his skills (this is seriously just a few (I had to erase at least over 500 pics yesterday just to make sure we had room on our card). I think, as long as we have batteries charged for the camera on the plane ride home - he may be completely entertained.
Showing Eli how it's done.
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Eli's Pictures:
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